What is divorce really like? The best people to ask are the ones who have lived through it. Below is information that divorced people wish they had known.
- You will not get everything you want. Divorce is a negotiation and it requires compromise. If you know this ahead of time, it will be easier to accept that you will not get all the things you want.
- Divorce will change your financial world. For most people, there’s no getting around financial challenges. Two of the biggest pain points are health insurance and the cost of housing.
- It is going to take time to move on. Relationship experts say people do not mourn the person they divorced; they mourn the person they married. The average grieving time for divorces is roughly half the amount of time you were married. If you were married for 20 years, for example, expect to have feelings of loss for 10 years. But keep in mind that everyone is different, and your grieving time does not have to conform to an average.
- Your married friends might desert you. Many people find that their married friends disappear after a divorce. Counter this by reaching out to other single parents or divorced individuals. You have a shared experience and will have plenty to talk about.
- Post-divorce life can be kind of dull. People who have been through divorce say the divorce process can be dramatic and chaotic. When everything is settled, however, life can become mundane. This is especially true if you are not intentional about pursuing new interests.
- Family members will react in surprising ways. People who you thought would be supportive might have a hard time accepting that you got divorced. On the other hand, the judgmental types might be the most helpful and encouraging.
- You will be happier. Studies have discovered that most people are significantly happier after the divorce, even if the divorce brought financial struggles.
Bottom line: you control your future. No matter what your circumstances, you have the power to choose how you react to your new circumstances.