You know that you do not want a bitter divorce. You do not even want to go to court. You’re most interested in divorce mediation, where you work together outside of court and then get your divorce agreement approved when you’re done.
But can it happen? You only hear stories about people angrily fighting during divorce, spending months in court. Do you have another choice?
You do. You and your ex can get along. In fact, that’s one of the main points of mediation: You must be able to work together. This means you at least need to be civil and willing to do it.
One of the best things you can do is to stop playing the blame game. Understand that you both contributed to the divorce in your own way. You both made mistakes. Do not get hung up trying to pin it all on your ex. Just accept what happened and move forward.
When you do feel angry, do not try to get other people to come over to “your side.” It’s tempting to tell friends and family members how wrong your ex is, but it’s just a petty way of seeking some amount of revenge. Don’t do it. This toxic mindset makes it harder to work together.
Similarly, do not put the children in the middle. Never make them pick sides. In fact, focusing on the children’s best interests instead of your own marital difficulties is the best way to approach mediation.
As you work through this process, make sure you understand what steps you’ll need to take and what legal rights you have in Ohio.
Source: Psychology Today, “How to Get Along With Your Ex After the Divorce,” Stephen J Betchen, accessed June 04, 2018