Divorce is not an easy experience when it comes to your emotions. When going through a divorce, sometimes feeling resentful or angry at your former spouse is normal. But focusing on the goals of the divorce, instead of the current anguish, can help you in many ways in the long-run. Giving into your anger and engaging in revenge or paypack will only set you back in the process.
What happens when spouses let anger get the best of them during a divorce? Here are four ways anger can hurt you during, and after your divorce:
1) It’s expensive: Using attorney or court time to vent your anger instead of discuss practical divorce issues can add up. It can be costly to focus time on drama, when that time could be used to make decisions or agree upon items in the divorce proceedings.
2) Dividing property becomes clouded with emotion: When you let anger take over, you tend to focus on the sentimental value of your property, and may have a difficult time parting with some of it. Looking at property as items that need to be divided, and focusing your energy on what your ultimate goals are in terms of property division will help you hold onto your most prized possessions in the long-run.
3) It can add drama and hurt your case for child custody or child support: Whether you’re displaying anger to your attorneys or to the court, it can paint a negative image of you when it comes to evaluating the best interests of the child or children during decisions on custody. Letting anger or fear get the best of you can make you dwell on whether you will get to see your children often, instead of focusing on what you want the final custody arrangement to look like. When you focus on the best custody arrangement and work with your attorney to make that happen as much as possible, and leave the anger behind, you can get the results you really want and minimize the impact on your children.
4) It can get in the way of mediation and force you to go through the trial route for your divorce: choose mediation because it allows you more control and is faster than going through trial, anger can put a hamper on your plans. To be able to mediate and come to mutual agreements on divorce issues, your mind needs to be mostly clear of anger so you can focus on the goals in front of you. Refusing to let anger run your divorce can help you choose mediation and make for a much less stressful divorce process.
Choosing a family law attorney that has a no-nonsense approach to your divorce and lets you focus on the issues rather than the emotions is a smart move. Not only will working on the actual issues at hand speed up the process, but it will reduce the emotional expense of letting feelings cloud up the divorce process.